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Why Revolution 60 is Offensive in Every Way

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I’d never paid much attention to the whole Brianna Wu thing – just another Anita Sarkeesian clone who gets everyone to bow down to her by being oppressed, I thought. But being the masochist that I am, I decided to see what all the fuss was about once people started talking about her iOS game, Revolution 60. It was released in June 2014, but for some reason, we didn’t hear too much about it until recently.

comapnions1Revolution 60 is supposed to be an action RPG with game-changing choices, strong female characters who don’t need no man, and an intense plot sure to go down in iOS gaming history. I love representation as much as the next girl, but there’s representation and then there’s pandering to a specific percentage of an audience. The result is an insipid, stumbling, humorless mess of a game that should never have left the brainstorming stage – the kind of game social justice warriors insist everyone wants to see, but in reality, the reaction seems to be put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Story and Characters 

“In the future, an American orbital weapons platform has gone adrift over China, causing an international incident. Holiday is a member of Chessboard, a special operations team led by a probability-computing AI. Her team’s mission is to rendezvous with N313 and re-establish satellite control between the station and Chessboard – but not all is as it seems.”

To be fair, the story isn’t all that bad, if not particularly original in any way. Really, you could shorten the summary to, “Emotionless badasses who don’t necessarily follow protocol end up saving the world after something got weird in their daily line of work.” Not all that problematic, and you could actually argue that it’s not the typical plot of a sci-fi game. I mean, I thought the main characters were aliens at first, but we’ll get to that in a moment.

Now, the problems start with our main characters. You play as Holiday, an assassin in a painted-on catsuit who rides a motorcycle and has no personality other than the current demands of the plot. The rest of her team consists of a handful of one-dimensional TV Tropes personalities shoved into the shells of life-sized, dead-eyed Polly Pocket dolls whose only purpose seems to be to give Holiday something to do other than be Generic Badass #624. Of course, the team’s all female – which isn’t bad, but they’re so bland that you’d think the writers were so focused on ‘revolutionizing’ video games for women that they forgot to make these characters human enough for us to relate to and have fun with.

mooks

Graphics.

I’ve seen some pretty shitty graphics in my time gaming, and that includes the old PS1 games where Cloud Strife’s hands looked like muffins and Lara Croft’s boobs could slice butter in July. That’s shitty by today’s standards, but back then, we didn’t know any better! This was before the days where we could see the sweat dripping from our hero’s brow, before we saw our characters getting dirty and clean at various points throughout their journey. This was before Angry Birds, for fuck’s sake. We’ve learned how to make things realistic while still keeping a particular style.

So, what does our strong female protagonist look like? Surely she’s not in any way oversexualized or drawn in a way that makes her look like an alien had a one night stand with a Blood Elf –

holiday1

AAAAAAAAAH!

I’m honestly not entirely sure what Brianna’s dev team was thinking (or smoking) when they came up with these designs. It’s one of those times where you have to picture the exact moment in your mind where the team approved of this artwork. This was drawn, rendered, and approved. This shit looks like some creep from Second Life just figured out how to use the morphing tool.

Unfortunately, it gets worse.

companions2

“Diversity and female empowerment!” cries Miss Wu as she aggressively designs a group of expressionless, hourglass-shaped white girls with less personality than the cockroach from Wall-E.

For a game designer who’s all about making a game that’s supposed to be eliminating hypersexuality and glorifying/representing women in a mature way, Wu seems a little too comfortable putting her military soldiers into skin-tight, formfitting outfits with no armor and laughably short skirts/pants. They all have the same skin color and hourglass shape with ample boobs, long legs, perfect hair, and perpetual duckface. Seriously, if you took the tattoos, clothing, accessories, and hair off these characters, there’d be no possible way to tell them apart.

I can’t really think of a scenario in which character design has been quite this lazy, seeing as I can attribute more personality traits to the birds from Angry Birds than this bunch. The artist apparently spent a portion of the game’s $500,000 budget to use Microsoft Paint’s flood fill option for each and every texture. We thought Dragon Age: Inquisition had its problems with hairstyles, but at least those hairstyles didn’t look like turd after it was dried and left to freeze into ropes. Even the enemies – or enemy, since we’re fighting the EXACT SAME GUYS THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE GAME – are just flat white Stormtrooper-looking guys with tribal tattoo textures painted on who attack one at a time. Sometimes you’ll get a baddie that dyed his tats a different color, but otherwise, don’t expect any diversity.

But sadly, even the background textures can’t hold up.

buildings

It’s like someone painted the inside of a box orange and yellow and put buildings in it.

The landscape is flat, forgettable, and frankly just a backdrop for the rest of the game. The most you’ll ever see out of this environment is a few moving contraptions, and maybe some glowing lights. There’s no atmosphere to speak of, no props for characters to interact with, nothing on the walls or floors, and no indication that the world is anything other than a jerry-rigged sci-fi theater set relying on the characters and the action sequences to give it life instead of working with them to create a living world. This doesn’t exactly work, especially since the characters and the enemies are just as flat and over-saturated as the world around them. Color does not equal life. 

“But Deb!” you exclaim. “This is an iOS game! Surely you can’t expect a portable game to have the same level of graphics as Crysis 2!”

Hey, I’m not asking for some jaw-dropping explosion of graphical quality worthy of the PS4. But…just because it’s an iOS game doesn’t mean it’s got to be made with the most godawful rendering you could possibly find. Five Nights at Freddy’s is on iOS as well, and the graphics are great. The Room 2 also has a phenomenal set of graphics, and there are plenty of indie shooters out there with near-perfect graphics (compared to today’s standards). Wu had 4 years and a $500,000 budget to make a game, and insists upon sinking to the lowest denominator of graphics she can find. Unless she was making it for the PS1, there’s no excuse for this.

I’d also like to mention that this game is 777 MB. The Walking Dead game for iOS is 346 MB with far better aesthetics and a fuck ton more content. Let that sink in.

Other

To be honest, when I first started the game, I thought Holiday was the robot mainframe. Oh, how mistaken I was.

You see, Holiday’s voice actor has a problem I’ve always liked to call “script scanning.” She sat there with the script in her lap and read words, resulting in a passionless monotone for just about every scene. It kind of makes those dialogue choices you get pretty pointless – I mean, you only get two options, and those are “mildly snarky” and “slightly more snarky, except this time she just sounds like a cranky high school student.” For both of these choices, the actor doesn’t really change her tone all that much, and when she does, it sounds amazingly forced. The other characters tend to suffer the same fates, with the exception of that one cyborg character because at least someone sounds like what they’re supposed to.

I also hope you like Quicktime events. I hope you like them a lot, because you’ll be doing a lot of them if you intend on playing this game. And by a lot of them, I mean all the goddamn time. Wu’s reasoning is that men “want to attack as fast as possible” and subsequently “hammer the iPad so hard that they’ll break the screen.” Apparently, women don’t do this, so Wu decided to make the combat and gameplay as simplistic as possible, even if it makes things horrendously boring and unchallenging. Thanks, Wu. My delicate womanly digits will forever be safe from the tyranny of those dangerous action games.

Conclusion

Revolution 60 is offensive – and the worst part is that it was created to have the opposite effect. It offends me as a gamer that someone would think that this sort of crap would fly just because an all-woman team made it, and it offends me as a woman because I’m here to play games, not to be pandered to. And I’m sure as fuck not going to identify with a game meant to represent my gender when the characters have about as much personality as a piece of styrofoam. Maybe there’re a few places in gaming where female character stereotypes could use an overhaul, but this is not the way to do it.

This is something that someone threw together to make a certain group of people happy, because they knew that particular group would stick to it like bottom feeders in favor of social justice. There is no personality, nothing to make it stand out, and nothing to make people remember it. This is a game that feels like a fifth grader’s “girl power” fanfiction that everyone said was amazing, but nobody dared to actually critique it because it’d make the writer cry.

My verdict? Complete and utter shit. Get the demo if you’re curious, but this game does not deserve your money.

 

About Deborah Crocker

Deborah is a 22 year old semi-hermit currently plodding through her senior year of college and getting her feet wet in game journalism. She has a somewhat unhealthy obsession with high fantasy, video games, novels, and Elder Scrolls. When she’s not in front of a screen, she enjoys singing and a bit of beading. She’s also currently on the hunt for the restaurant with the best cheeseburger.

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  • Michael Pearson

    *claps* Bravo madame

    • ImperialFists

      you deserve thumbs-up for the avatar alone

      THIS SILENCE OFFENDS SLAANESH!

      • Hrondir

        THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW!

        • ImperialFists

          WE ARE AMPLIFIED!

  • Junito Franceschini

    This article is beautiful. I was laughing the whole time. You do got some creative critiques. :^). GG

  • Weesnaw

    *gasp* A WOC critiquing a game based in the spirit of Social Justice? HALT THE PRESSES, WE GOT A FREE-THINKER HERE! BLASPHEMY!

    • SJWsTriggerMe

      IT’S CLEARLY INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY!! BURN THE WITCH!!!

      • BagofHammers

        Sock puppet account!

        • WorldofJuice

          Patreon!

  • That was both honest and funny. Thank you for playing a crappy game so we don’t have to buy it D:

  • David Gray

    Enjoyable, opinionated review 😀
    I’ll have to come to armedgamer more often to read some harsh but fair burns ^^

  • Megamatics

    My guess by the emotion put into the writing here is that the critic had to play Revolution 60 enough to understand it’s core elements… That unfortunately comes with the issue of playing revolution 60. When this game gets bundled on the Humble Bundle, it will be turd in the punch bowl.

  • RFL

    great read

  • LibertyPrime

    Careful there, if you keep going on like this Wu herself might come in and offer to buy you a cup of coffee so she can convince you why you are wrong and all the people in this comments section should be banned for criticizing her game.

    • Achron Timeless

      And we all know what offering to buy coffee means.. or wait, no I’m getting this confused when the SJWs tried to take over atheism with their silly Atheism+ thing. The tactics are almost identical so it’s an easy mistake.

      • GEhotpants101 .

        That’s only the case in elevators. Obviously. Ugh. Get it together.

        • NastyNinja

          Srsly……elevators trigger me now. I call them rapevators.

  • Thunder Butt

    Awesome review! You also got a great, funny and passionate writing style. Great read all around.

    Cheers!

  • dresden

    “Her team’s mission is to rendezvous with N313 and re-establish satellite control between the station and Chessboard – but not all is as it seems.”

    Chessboard. Not Checkmate. Not even Gambit. Chessboard.

    What in the actual fuck?

    • Niwjere

      I had the same thought. For science’s sake, CONSORTIUM actually uses a paramilitary hierarchy that is chess-themed, with people bearing ranks like Pawn, Rook, Knight, and Bishop, and its developers made it completely believable. But “Chessboard”? I’m fully convinced the person who came up with that is completely unfamiliar with the concept of narrative subtlety.

  • babayaga

    FUCK THIS GAME SET TEH PERSON WHO MADE IT ON FIRE ALLAH AHCKBAR

  • Trance

    Brilliant

  • Adam Astles

    Shots fired!

  • aRunning_Maniac

    I enjoyed reading your review. Well done.

  • Opyt

    In b4 “internalized misogyny”

    This is precisely the problem I have with so many self-styled “SocJus” games. They’re meant to pander to a single audience that’s too “hipster” to be into ‘mainstream’ games. The goal is to create something you’d find on a movie disc under “extras” where you occasionally tap a button. They tend to want it to make them millions for it because “video games are profitable”.

    From the sound of it she pulled it off of Greenlight because she tried to start shit without realizing people have situational awareness.

    At any rate, loved reading your interpretation of it.

    • FullMcIntwit

      “pulled off of Greenlight”

      *Checks Steam Greenlight*

      0.0 It is gone. When did this happen?

      Please say it was after that horrible episode of Law and Propaganda Professional Victims Unit. I need some lulz.

      • Generaallucas .

        “THEY BULLIED ME OFF STEAM, GAIS!”

      • Apparently it got approved then she closed it to public access, from what I’ve read. o.O

        • If true that means developers (using that word very loosely) can basically ‘game the system’ (players) to get their products onto Steam right?

          • disqus_S0JmH2bACA

            Valve is worried about that, since devs are offering free Steam keys for Greenlight votes.

            As for Wu, she put the submission on private because she couldn’t take the criticism and moderate the board. That’s temporary at best as once the game is actually released, it’ll be open to reviews and discussion.

          • Yup. But like the other commentator said, it’s a temporary solution/problem at best. Once it releases, everything is public.

          • Ah cheers, didn’t know that (not too up on Steam).

          • Opyt

            Thought I saw a tweet somewhere saying she pulled it off completely, though thinking about it, it’s certainly not easy to do, as there was another game that Adult Swim offered to publish while it was on Greenlight.

      • EnglishGit

        She cried on Twitter repeatedly for her fans to upvote it on Steam. Sympathy votes don’t equal purchases, however, so she can exepect to sell sod all lol!

        • Erthwjim

          Is it actually going to cost? I thought she made the IOS one free, it would pretty stupid of her to charge for it on Steam at this point.

          • EnglishGit

            I think she said it would be 23 dollars or somesuch, but I don’t know if that statement was fixed in stone (so to speak)

          • Hrondir

            $23? Fuck that noise, I bought Terraria for $2 and it’s tree fiddy times the game. I was planning on tossing out a few bucks so I could wright a humorous mock review. I’m not giving John Flynt that much money just to fuck with him.

      • NeoTechni
      • rockmonster

        You mean the episode Ice-T hates? Like even denouncing it on Twitter?

  • ShepardRahl

    “Wu decided to make the combat and gameplay as simplistic as possible,
    even if it makes things horrendously boring and unchallenging.”

    Sarkeesian cried it up one time that game controls were just too hard for women. It’s no surprise that Wu designed the controls for an infant.

    Wu tried billing this game as “Heavy Rain meets Mass Effect”. Which is partially true – Heavy Rain did meet Mass Effect, but they went on vacation because they wanted nothing to do with this taint.

    • TKPawluk

      Did Sakeesian really say that? Do you have a link please? I’d like to see it so that I can seethe even more as she is managing new ways to piss me off constantly.

      • ShepardRahl

        It was a while back. I can’t find a link to the actual quote. I don’t remember if it was at one of these dumbass speeches she gives or what but I know she said it because I read it myself. She was talking specifically about Mirror’s Edge saying it’s controls were too hard for women. If the controls for Mirror’s Edge are too hard for her then you would think the simple act of walking straight would destroy her.

        • TKPawluk

          Didn’t think that even she would say something that stupid. But I shouldn’t be surprised.

        • Juan Andrés Valencia

          She should play ArmA III. Just for the lulz.

      • Sakuya Quinnzelle

        I think that was someone using a fake account cause it’s never been verified that it was actually her that said it. It’s also one of the few things she went out of her way to debunk at the xoxo fest. Would make things easier if it were true but in light of what I just mentioned it’s likely fake.

        • Cole Pram

          It’s actually paraphrased from an interview she did discussing Mirrors Edge. She didn’t out right say it though.

          The comment was about how difficult the controls in that game were and how it was something to keep in mind when developing games for women.

      • NeoTechni
      • MagcargoMan

        She did indeed. It was when she tried to get into the dev team for Mirror’s Edge 2 and claimed the first game’s controls were too hard for women (what she actually meant was she found it too hard for herself but claims she represents all women).

    • whenuthinkaboutit

      1990s: Girls are just as headstrong and capable as boys. Respect them like it.
      2015: Women are delicate and vulnerable. Stop treating them the same.

      Anita represents the latter mentality quite well.

      • “Games shouldn’t reinforce the ‘damsel in distress’ trope, but men should come to my rescue when threats are sent to me by people who are definitely not also me.”

        • James Foss

          I wouldnt say shouldnt reinforce personally I think making a game is like writing a story. If it happens it happens, but don’t go out of your way for it or against it.

    • KarRuptAssassin

      It was mirrors edge, a game that I was hopeful for but dont want to risk an investment on anymore.

  • Samuel Benjamin Busch

    what I don’t get is why the main character has a giant yellow squid on her head.

    • Juan Andrés Valencia

      Some guy said it looked like a scrotum and now I can’t unsee it. The patriarchy is literally on her head!

  • 10phoenix01

    Reddchanit finds this agreeable

    • lordloss217

      ALL HAIL REDCHANIT!!!!!

  • Piratkung Nicholas Taylor

    You’ve earned yourself a regular reader. Love your witty writing.

  • Maniate

    Thanks. I don’t care about identity politics in games, I care about how good they are. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from game journos, so thanks for providing it.

  • Olai

    This review made me level up…

  • Ryan Colson

    Welp

    It’s a good thing actual reviewers are giving it over average scores instead of the blatant low scores GG gives it because feelings were hurt!

    • hurin

      Noone can objectively call this a good game. Giving false reviews because you like the developer is what caused GG in the first place.

    • Erthwjim

      She did give her reasons for saying the game was shitty if you actually read the article. And she makes some very valid points for those reasons, not just because she “feels” it’s a shitty or good game but because of specific reasons.

    • Niwjere

      Let’s ignore the fact that the folks who gave R60 “iOS GOTY” are Brianna’s buddies, shall we?

  • hurin

    I suspect that Wu has no real programming experience, and that as a result, she ended up with a bunch of hacks who’s only talent was sucking up to her face and laughing behind her back.
    The reason development took 4 years, is that that is the amount of time it took for the money to run out.

    • RudeArtist

      Actually, from what I understand, she hired her friends.

      • hurin

        Real friends would have told her, her game is shit.

        • NeoTechni

          They have.

          • Kylis

            and then she blocked them.

  • Sculptor

    thanks for doing a legitimate review on this (IMO) illegitimate game.
    ^^

  • James

    Woah Deborah, is that some internalized misogyny I’m picking up on there?
    Don’t fret, you can donate to my patreon and I will absolve you of your sins.

    in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

  • Jan Scott

    How is this woman allowed to speak? Doesn’t she know Anita Sarkeesian speaks for all PoC?

    • GALANG SYAHYA

      Woman shouldn’t speak?

      • diehounderdoggen

        Not if they have internalized misogyny and racism.
        You see, Galang, white upper-middle class social justice warrior women know what’s best for all people of color, even when they themselves don’t recognize it. So it falls to courageous professional victims like Anita Sarkeesian and Brianna Wu to explain to them why black folks are wrong about their opinions on being black.

        It’s a heavy burden to be sure. A burden that these white women take up.
        They take up the white women’s burden.

        • GALANG SYAHYA

          This is what I don’t get from SJWs. Why do they try being the hero of a group of people that didn’t even ask them to do that? (did they?)

          • Niwjere

            #NotYourShield would like to talk to you about that.

          • GALANG SYAHYA

            I don’t really understand about that hashtag thingy, like I’m not really sure if SJWs are the anti or the pro of #GamerGate.

          • diehounderdoggen

            #Gamergate (GG) originally applied to scandals surrounding media collusion/corruption within games media, specifically nondisclosure on the part of journalists who had more than casual acquaintances with their subjects. Eventually the term came to refer to the groups of people who continued to investigate and attempt to hold these journalists accountable.

            The journalists in question made up a sort of “Social Justice Warrior bloc” within the games journalism scene, so once they started being criticized a whole bunch of other SJWs got themselves involved. SJWs are now anti GG, by and large.

            As SJWs tend to do, they missed the point entirely and started playing the Race/Sex/Gender Card in an attempt to paint GG as racist/sexist/transphobic. This of course pissed off both PoC/female/trans* GG supporters as well as people who didn’t care either way. They expressed their frustration with being used as ideological props by telling SJWs that they were #NotYourShield.

            The issue is pretty convoluted, tell me if it doesn’t make sense.

          • Call-Me Drew

            I know this posting is old, but I have to say that it finally gave me the most clarity I’ve had on wtf it’s all been about. I’d only gleaned pieces here and there and keep finding references to GG. “GG is great!” “GG is terrible!” Dude, it’s a freaking mess. I do admit I didn’t try super hard to research it but seriously. One dumb-ass effed up cluster of stories and stupid people on all sides.

        • Clocked.G

          I see what you did there…
          The old British empire phrase “White mans burden”, to bring civilisation to the primitives. An excuse for shameless imperialism…

          Some things change.. While others stay the same.

      • ImperialFists

        not according to Sarkeesian, unless that woman is her

  • pixel

    great article Deborah

  • tcnitsni

    I love this review.

  • d0x360

    After the first paragraph I thought this was going to be a pretty weak review that had no purpose other than to attack Wu.

    Then I kept reading and found an actual review in here and a well written one at that.

  • Thank you sista!
    As a woman of color, I’m glad SOMEONE of color did this and told it like it is!
    I laughed the entire time, even read it out loud to my friends at work (who also laughed their asses off) keep it up!

  • Thank you very much for your thoughtful and humorous review, and also thank you as well for what is at least equally as important: going through such a dreadful experience to issue such a review.

  • King of Zeroes

    Yo, fuck you, the Cockroach from Wall-E had SO much personality.

    Comparing it to these cardboard cutouts is absurd.

  • Mike Thornton

    I give Brianna immense credit here, and not just because she’s GamerGate’s most loyal ally.

    Yeah, you read that right. Based Brianna is parodying Anita and Zoe with her trolling, claims of harassment and such. Brianna, like her or not, is a real game designer and a real insider in the industry. She parodies Zoe because, even though her game might not be the most original or the most visually appealing, it’s a real game that was designed, coded and released. And done so with an eye towards getting it on the market with due speed, rather than making false promises and waffling on them (Like Anita’s game series, Zoe’s rebel game jam and anti-harassment site). Is it any wonder that, for a while, Brianna’s Patreon was outpacing Zoe’s by ten thousand dollars?

    • P Punkt Alex

      Coincidentally, those ten thousand dollars were a one-time donation.

      • NeoTechni

        Given her penchant for false-flagging, it was probably from herself too.

  • beardmosexual

    Great article, you just earned a new reader. I tend to enjoy reading work from journos that aren’t afraid to speak their mind, and are never satisfied with the status quo. Props.

    Also: as for the best cheeseburger, Chop House Burger in downtown Dallas. Order the black truffle burger, you won’t be disappointed.

  • RudeArtist

    What truly amazes me, is the fact that Wu was able to hire not one but TWO professional voice actresses to play two of the main characters. And these aren’t small time actresses; they’ve both worked on AAA projects in both gaming and anime. So how is it, with TWO professional voice actresses, that Wu still managed to produce a game with some of the most horrendously wooden voice acting ever heard?

  • Codrin Stavri
  • Thanks for the honest review. You’re an excellent writer, I hope to read more of your games reviews in the future.

  • gerton shref

    sorry girl, but im just going to have to come out and say it… you have internalized misogyny!

  • Suzaku Kururugi

    This website has a new subscriber.

  • LSM

    Lol #rekt

  • Dead Giveaway

    This is GLORIOUS.

  • Matt Barsan

    Great article. Loved it.

  • Ephylix

    My hero. Instead of designing a game naturally as a means of expressing a desire to portray strong female characters, they tried their hardest to pander to a specific audience, and failed astronomically. What a shame.

  • RKade8583

    I enjoyed this read quite a bit. I wish you luck on your delving into games journalism as you have a talent for writing that I’d hate to see be forgotten.

  • runloganrun

    Thank you, thank you thank you! I’m bitter and angry and sad all the time because I was under the impression not even Excalibur could cut through this armour-plated weave of bs.

    You just did it. Well done. Even if it makes my eyes water, I shall keep this friendly smile on all day long now. Huzzah!

  • DynastyStar

    Well written review 🙂 nice job.

  • Eamon DeMarsh

    …glorious

  • diehounderdoggen

    You know, the “QTE as Gameplay” model can work. Before you light your torches and sharpen your pitchforks, hear me out. If you can take a QTE system and layer on atmosphere, clever and entertaining actions, genuine craft and attention to detail, etc. you can create something that’s both accessible and satisfying. And then you can call it Dragon’s Lair and release it in 1983. Also, you have to be Don Bluth.

    I guess what I’m saying is that Brianna Wu is no Don Bluth, whatever that’s worth.

    • Niwjere

      Dragon’s Lair survived on its animation and its humor, not its QTEs. It was competing with comparatively low-res arcade cabinets at the time of its release, and its great looks earned it much praise then and many a nostalgic tear years later. It is not, however, good on the basis of its gameplay.

      QTEs are an objectively shitty gameplay technique. They CAN be made to work well — see also: Heavy Rain — but the chances of pulling off a QTE-soaked game are far lower than the chances of pulling off a game with more standard mechanics, for reasons you’ve already outlined.

      • Juan Andrés Valencia

        Beyond: Two Souls and even Ryse for that matter have non-stop QTEs and they work. This barely works because there’s nothing to care about.

        • Niwjere

          Telling, isn’t it, that QTEs require the presence of something to “care about” before they are considered passable, instead of standing on their own (nonexistent) merits?

    • NeoTechni

      “Before you light your torches and sharpen your pitchforks, hear me out”

      Nope. BURN HIM! (And this I admit is the first verifiable threat from a gamergater. Although I admit it’s sarcastic)

  • This review was vindicating like a MOTHERFUCKER. This game was just terrible and even more terrible when you consider that other developers have done MORE with less resources afforded to them. Some have even done better with smaller teams. Brianna has no excuse and was simply using the current drama to shill a terrible game. She’s like a bad internet rapper trying to get people to check out her mixtape.

    • DynastyStar

      I agree. Look up “RECEIVER”, that game was made in 7 days fun challenge by a small group of people. Dust: An Elysian Tail took something like 3.5-4 years to make and it was done by one guy. Dunno about the budget on that, but I’m sure its alot lower than $400k.

  • bob

    i think i am in love

  • Jared Carroll

    Wait is that… Is that… Honest video game journalism…?

  • Jess

    This pretty much echoes my thoughts about Rev60.

    Although she specifically made sure she put many bones and joints into the hair. As womyn this is very important to us apparently. And still the hair is godawful in any event. Wat.

  • ImperialFists

    BEHOLD!
    The future of all gaming, should the radfems and SJWs win

  • Lisa M

    My god I love you for this. You just earned a(nother) new reader.

  • Hades Miller

    I’m sorry you had to play this game, miss. In a better world, we’d pawn this kind of torture off on to convicted felons and death row inmates. ._.

  • GS Talbert

    Excellent & clever review. I too <3 the eldar scrolls.

  • Joshua Drake

    Since your blurb mentioned a quest for the best cheeseburger restaurant, let me suggest Five Guys.

    • Niwjere

      2 Doors Down in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Accept no substitutes.

  • Ramble onward

    you

  • Ramble onward

    you had me at “with less personality than the cockroach from Wall-E.”

    • Mr. Mallard

      The cockroach has some personality. I would say the plant that Wall-E has.

  • The Bechtloff

    You just earned a new reader with this article.

  • Mister Grimm

    I love this review! Is funny and makes me happy.

  • Erthwjim

    Found a new site to follow, had not heard of you previous and then you popped up in my phone’s google now suggested stories to read. Glad I read this.

  • Wong Feihung

    this article constitutes harrasment and you have threatened Mr. Wu’s life by publishing it…

  • aulridgejr

    What privileged cisgendered heteronormative straight white male wrote this awful woman-bashing piece of misgoynist tripe?

    (See? See what I did there?)

    • Alex.k.s

      Yes, falling into the SJW paradigm that what matters most is the background of the author of any given piece.

  • Para

    Spot on.

  • Virtual Boy

    This was vicious! I liked it.

  • Eshto

    This was cathartic.

  • TheTundraTerror

    This wasn’t a game.

    It was wish fulfillment.

  • Alex.k.s

    > an American orbital weapons platform has gone adrift over China,

    Some script writer isn’t too clear about what the concept of an ‘orbit’ is.

    • NeoTechni

      It’s like an ocean up there, the anchor slipped a bit right?

  • Alex.k.s

    This was a great review BTW, cracked me up several times.

  • Zanard Bell

    I didn’t know it was THAT bad. 777 MB for that? I’ve seen someone compact GTA 3 for 200 MB and it still runs just as great. From what I’ve seen on the trailer of Revolution 60, that barely even passes for 23 fps.

    Great review, Deborah.

  • Ben (Broken)

    You’re braver than me,Deborah. I don’t have the metaphorical balls of steel to play something this terrifying! I confess the character designs look pretty “meh” tp me too and this is coming from a guy who often “likes” drawing women in sexy clothing whilst doing crazy yoga positions.

  • queenofhearts17 .

    I usually don’t comment on this kind of thing, but let me say I really enjoyed this article. I’m not one to bitch about women in gaming or the lack there of, being a gamer myself, I’ve never garnered much negative attention. Even so, I think that a lot of this is disgustingly sexist on both ends, but more so on the female end. The male gaming community has never really made me feel unwelcome nor have they been unkind, and that’s probably due to them not seeing women in general as a threat, rather, only seeing these few extremist idiots as threats, because they are. But on the flip side, the female gaming community has this disgusting misogynistic view of men painted on every last one of their male peers. “Whiny neckbeard virgins” “fat manchildren who live with their moms” “disgusting MRA misogynists”, that’s all they seem to view them as. To be honest, the women are the ones who created the “Us vs Them mentality in the gaming community and it makes me a bit ashamed to be a woman into gaming.

    • alvin

      Where you say “misogynistic”, referring to some women’s negative attitude toward men, the word you’re looking for is “misandrist”. “Misogynistic” denotes a hatred of women.

      • NeoTechni

        That’s not even a word in Chrome or Firefox’s spellcheck. Misogyny is though.

        • Cole Pram

          Yeah it’s weird.

          Misogyny refers to hatred of women specifically, it’s in spellcheck.

          Misanthropy is the hatred of humans in general, also in spellcheck.

          Misandry is the hatred of men, it is a word, but it’s never been in any spell check I’ve seen.

    • Cole Pram

      Don’t be ashamed. You’re only responsible for your actions.

      Be excellent.

  • I consider the plethora of kick-ass, sexy female characters in games and movies to be a result of males who’ve had their masculinity kicked in, who are desperately projecting both their sexual desire as well as their masculine agency onto women because they don’t know how to correctly handle their own testosterone; they want a sexy mommy who will deign to have sex with them, rather than themselves becoming the man who wins the princess’ heart. This is sad, and a pretty obvious result of having feminism-indoctrinated school teachers putting boys on ritalin.

    In this case, however, the hyper-sexualization stems from the fact that the Developer fetishizes himself as a woman, getting off on the fact that he can pretend to be a woman in public and nobody notices (or at least nobody is polite enough to call him on his bullshit); he quite literally views women as nothing but sexual objects, in stark contrast to even the most venal of normal men who imagine that, on some level, the stripper actually likes them; the normal man who goes to the strip club wants both the woman’s body as well as her personality and desire. Brian wants nothing but the woman’s body, and so he masquerades around in it.

    This game is proof of that. Also, it passes the Bechtel test.

  • Joe Shmo

    I love you forever

  • utera
  • klarax

    I find it sad that only people who can review this game, without being called sexist or racist or attacking the dev, has to be a woman, and/or race of non white.

    I think this is going to be the average review for this game, unless they are bought/friends of developer like other sites. *cough* *cough*

  • Newbtastic

    Fantastically written article with great humor. You’re gonna go far kid.

  • NastyNinja

    Now, Deborah…….tell us honestly, did the patriarchy make you write this? Blink once for yes.

  • Lucas Sendintheclowns Mercep

    This review is on point and exactly points out what’s wrong with this travesty of a game.
    Of course, white girl SJWs will probably dismiss is saying “you’ve internalized misogyny” or some BS like that.
    But big ups to this article for taking a stand.

  • Cursing Glasses

    Good attempt but perhaps look into the designing side of things before releasing. 2/10

  • Colin Charles

    The game reminds me of the movie, Sucker Punch.
    Btw, you know Brianna Wu is actually a tranny? The prospect of victimhood has now become so compelling that new age, emasculated men are willing to have sex changes to get the attention they crave.

  • It’s like a knockoff version of ReBoot (if you guys remember your early 90s Canadian TV shows) made by 6th graders.

    Nice takedown, Deborah. Of course, Wu will simply blame it on your “internalized muhsojiny” or some garbage like that.

  • James Dore

    Careful Deborah or Brianna Wu will accuse you of threatening and harassing her and forcing her to leave her home. You need to remember Wu isn’t a professional developer, she is a professional victim so producing a shitty game to get negative criticism was the intended goal so she can make even more money from crying oppression.

    Great article btw 😀

  • metroidjunkie

    Brianna seems to think that this game is perfection itself and that any possible criticism is just hatred against HER. It’s amazing how massive her ego is. Not exactly empowering for women when you’ve got people who claim to represent them with skin about as thick as a sheet of paper. I thought they were AGAINST damsels in distress but then they turn around and act like damsels the second they’re faced with any kind of critique.

  • “Brianna” is actually John Flynt.

    • No, she’s Brianna. Listen, I get a lot of people don’t like her or her politics, but it’s perfectly possible to disagree with someone without attacking their sexuality or who they are. It’s incredibly disrespectful to her and to the transgender community to refer to a transgender individual by their birth name instead of their chosen gender name. I ask that you please respect that here, as I want Armed Gamer to be a place for everyone to come and discuss ideas without being insulted or disrespected.

      • NeoTechni

        Agreed, and thank you for defending her. Which is more than she’s done for us, claiming all gamergaters are white males.

  • Jon Curry

    Please consider giving a *number*/10 score to this review. That’ll allow the score to go up on Metacritic & counter-balance the other review scores that seep out from the ‘We Luv Wu’ game sites.

  • jlenoconel

    Thanks for this review.

  • Jessica Naegler
  • Anthony Amoeba

    #rekt

  • Frantic Leap

    Jeez Deborah, you’re ruthless. Please have mercy on Mrs. Wu, she’s been oppressed all her life, therefore we have to refrain ourselves from criticizing her.

  • rockmegaman

    Brian Wu: What kind of graphics you want?

    Revolution 60: Just fuck me up, fam

  • Bora Bosna

    Good review. Thanks. This is why we need to keep feminists away from video games. Otherwise they are going to ruin games for everyone.

    • NeoTechni

      not all feminists. Some of us are actually striving for equality instead of dominion over men.

  • crazymannequin

    Miss Crocker need i remind you that the 13th amendment keeps you from owning someone like this

  • chizwoz

    Pretty brutal but no doubt fair. As a black woman who disagrees with her, I imagine she’ll be blocking you any second so she can claim to speak for you. Good luck with it!

  • Sand Ripper

    But…but…but…Revolution 60 won a Game of the Year award from a site run by Wu’s friends!

  • Aspasia Beneti

    Even though I have not played the game yet and I have no reason to care whether people like it or not, this review seems to me quite bitter. The unnecessary “just another Anita Sarkeesian clone who gets everyone to bow down to her by being oppressed” part is actually quite offensive towards both these women. Is it supposed to be funny? I don’t get the joke. I watched the trailer and probably it is not my cup of tea either. But trashing someone’s work to such an extend comes across as hateful imo.

  • Rick Lopez

    Wonderfully written and spot on breaking down the bullshit “game”.

  • David Gonzalez

    hey. that was an awesome cockroach man. . . they had to limit his screen time because he kept stealing the show. He and Eve. . . . instant chemistry. almost sabotaged the whole relationship plot line for the story. . .

  • wgone

    Diversity for B Wu is in Hair Color.

  • Jaime Osbourn

    Wow, an honest review of wu’s crap done by a woman.

  • Kamille Bidan

    TRIGGERED

  • Bobby

    Great review, this! Deborah, you write really well.

  • rlhoneycutt79

    Guys, I have no idea what the fuck your talking about. I’m here because I saw this thing on tv and I’m sorry but my first response was it looks like a man. I do what any anti-nerd does, I google. Unlike you new holy of holy badasses, I don’t know this shit.

  • Sebine

    So.. like.. a Semi-Hermit

    Are you half-hermit half-truck or am I reading into this gender thing too far?

  • Swuth

    Brilliant! PLEASE SILLY-“CON” Valley stop giving this see you next tuesday money. She is a charlatan of the first order.

  • Ryan Reyes

    Yet wikipedia claims this is the game of the century I mean shit I have no idea who would buy this crap I have seen 3d cartoons from the 90s that are better than this shit.

  • Linked Devices

    Their characterisation of women is literally identical to what a sexist male stereotype would offer. That games are too tough and confusing for women, with their weak constitution and their delicate minds. It’s just jaw dropping how offensive and misogynistic Wu and her ilk are. If it wasn’t for the blatantly corrupt media propping her up they’d be met with single minded scorn and ridicule. Has the world gone mad?

  • Not that I care about the whole female in games being offensive, I just think it’s a pretty hypocritical for Wu to cry sexism one minute, then agree to write an article for Playboy then make a cheap game with scantly clad women. Personal feelings aside about Wu, this game is cringeworthy. The voice acting is embarrassing and graphics are very 1998. To compare this to titles like Mass Effect is a bit extreme. Great content!

  • David Fullam

    I want to praise this article to the high heavens, excellent work.

  • Marc De Los Santos

    Personally, the first think I thought when I saw the three main characters is that they bore a surprising resemblance to Brianna Wu herself…