Gaming With A Non-Gamer 3


Miss Non-Gamer and I are back at it again with my not-so-used Nintendo Wii U. I’ve been making a conscious effort to dust off that particular system, since it doesn’t get enough love from me. With two games behind us, it was time to see if Miss Non-Gamer and my friendship could withstand the problems that ensue while playing New Super Mario Bros. U. I had previously warned her that the last time I played New Super Mario Bros. for the Nintendo Wii, I yelled at my friend so badly that she dropped the controller and walked out. Not to mention this game is what broke up my last relationship. Well, not really, but it definitely was a factor in that entire debacle as well. However, Miss Non-Gamer was up for the challenge, assuring me that I wouldn’t have to move out of our apartment in a rage. And with that began part 3 of “Gaming With a Non-Gamer!”

It’s not that we haven’t played any Mario games together before. In fact, my trusty Super Nintendo gets plenty of use. Super Mario World and Super Mario All-stars receive more than their share of love. The difference being that in those games, even when playing two player, you take turns alternating on levels. There is not one bit of teamwork involved.

And so it began: an epic quest to keep our best friend status intact. For a brief few levels it was semi peachy. She grew accustomed to the fact that Mario and Luigi can bump into each other, bounce off of each other, and all in all cause some serious problems during levels. However, she was fully capable of staying out of my way. That is until the levels grew more intense. And so the bickering began.


“Get the fuck out of my way!”

“Why the fuck are you standing there?”

“Stop stealing the fucking flowers. I need it!”

“You just made me die! Why didn’t you fucking move?”

“Listen bitch, you better be in your bubble or stay out of my way.”

Just for your information, if you ever play either Super Mario Bros. for the Wii or Wii U with a non-gamer, make sure that they know how to bubble themselves. It’s a matter of life and death at times. Here I was making my way calmly through a level, and she’d either be pushing me, sometimes off a cliff, or being left behind. The bubble feature is great, because the player can then safely head over to the player that is kicking the level’s ass. Of course, when they are about to die, which Miss Non-Gamer was doing a lot when she wasn’t accidentally killing me, she’d smartly bubble and shake herself over to me so she would be able to keep a hold of the meager few lives she had.Which by the way, at one point in the game I had 35 and she only had 7.

Now don’t get me wrong. I certainly had a few hands in knocking her off cliffs or into a Koopa here and there too. In fact, it’s way to easy to get in each other’s way. But it makes the game a whole lot of fun, despite how overly frustrated I may seem.

Hell, the frustration I can take. It’s the anxiety of playing with her that makes me more on edge than anything. If by chance I did miss a step, or get knocked out by a Goomba, I’d practically be begging Miss Non-Gamer not to move a damn muscle while we waited on Mario to appear in a bubble. Because if she died before I could return it was bye bye level, and hello starting from scratch or the save point. My hearts would skip a few beats any time I was knocked out for even the briefest of moments, as I hoped that my partner would simply survive just a few seconds longer, and not try to continue without yours truly.

Here’s probably the best part. While we were playing, Miss Non-Gamer’s male friend showed up to hang out. He was actually happily watching, when Miss Non-Gamer finally got fed up with my minor verbal abuse. (Hey, I never said I’m proud of my anger issues.) She handed said male friend the controller, who also isn’t much of a gamer, at least these days.

One would think I was in for even more aggravation. Instead he began breezing through levels, hanging on to the few meager lives Miss Non-Gamer hadn’t lost. For a little while at least. In fact, I was telling him to grab the Fire/Ice Flowers, and allowing him to go ahead of me, instead of me leading the team as I was used to. And of course, he and I had a few hilarious moments of dialogue as well.

“Dude, COME HERE,” I’d yell when he was lagging behind.

He’d giggle and quip, “That’s not the first time a chick said that to me.” Let’s just say he’s lucky I know him well enough, and I didn’t feel the need to backhand him.

Back in Miss Non-Gamer’s hands, her lives began depleting yet again at a fairly steady pace. Her frustration ensued, and my frustration began boiling yet again. Finally at the 5th world, we’ve finally decided to give it a break before we honestly did become angry with one another. My goal is to at least complete the game in its entirety with Miss Non-Gamer, without breaking a controller or her non-gaming fingers. Can we? Only time will tell.


About Emily Horton

Emily is just your average twenty something girl who discovered her love for gaming at the age of three or four, all thanks to her older brothers. Mario, The Lion King, Aladdin, Zelda were her first loves, but Pokemon, Final Fantasy, Tales, and pretty much all Japanese games eventually fell into that category. She has an unhealthy obsession with Pikachu, hoodies, her 3DS, t-shirts, plushies, and purses. She may also fancy herself as an excellent lawyer due to number of times she has played through the Ace Attorney series. Outside of videogames, she is a Disney, Harry Potter, and Tolkien fanatic, while also recently discovering that she is now a hardcore fan of Supernatural thanks to Netflix allowing her to watch eight seasons rapid fire. She has elvish writing, the Deathly Hallows, a rather large Tinkerbelle and a large Yuna from Final Fantasy X all tattooed on her body, with only more geeky stuff to be added. Currently working on her own fantasy novel, she hopes to publish it eventually once all the kinks are worked out.

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