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Cards Against Humanity – What to play if you’re a reprehensible human being and your power goes out.

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I can see you there, looking at your screen in shock and horror.

This is a video game website, isn’t it?! HAS THE WORLD GONE CRAZY?

Well yeah, it has, but that’s not my fault. I was sitting around, thinking about things to write about, when I decided that Cards Against Humanity would likely be a thing that a great deal of you will like, if not love. It’s entirely inappropriate for polite company, you are rewarded for your creativity, and it will keep you sane for hours if a sudden storm knocks out your power for a while.

Taken from Cards Against Humanity’s own website, they describe their own game like so:

Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people. Unlike most of the party games you’ve played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends.

At least they’re honest. And, if you follow that link, you will come upon the option to download a printable deck for free. I mean shucks, if you have the paper and ink, you could start playing tonight if you wanted to.  There’s even a Canadian edition, though the apologetic version of such an unapologetic game is kind of like asking the Enterprise’s computer to calculate pi.

The official rules for the game are pretty simple (and flexible, in case you don’t feel like sharing to that degree):

To start the game, each player draws ten White Cards. The person who most recently pooped begins as the Card Czar and plays a Black Card. The Card Czar reads the question or fill-int-the-blank phrase on the Black Card out loud.

Everyone else answers the question or fills in the blank by passing one White Card, face down, to the Card Czar.

The Card Czar shuffles all of the answers and shares each card combination with the group. For full effect, the Card Czar should usually re-read the Black Card before presenting each answer. The Card Czar then picks the funniest play, and whoever submitted it gets one Awesome Point.

After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar, and everyone draws back up to ten White Cards. 

Let me give you an example of what they mean. Let’s say it’s my turn to take a black card from the deck and read it aloud. I’d put down a card like one of these to start everyone off:

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Now, all of you will be holding a hand of ten cards to use for answers. Some of the Black Cards will require you to hand in two White Cards to make it work (like if there’s two blank spaces, etc etc). Your hand will look something like this:

 

Dear reader, you have very healthy nails. Keep it up.

 

 

Alright. Now, look at the terrible, horrible, very-bad answers you could make. And these are stock photos without the truly grotesque options on them.

 

Just the tip… of the iceberg. I’ll see myself out.

 

You don’t know me very well at all, dear readers. I’ve only just started writing articles for this website. But I’ve got a terrible, horrible, wretched, despicable imagination, and this game suits me to a T. I’ll leave you know with a fewer of the funnier hands I found images of, and hope that you will go on and either download a deck for yourself or pick up an official deck from your local game shop.

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About Sarah Brunson

has always liked science fiction and fantasy. Dune, Lord of the Rings, the Last Unicorn, Jhereg, Grimspace, 2001, you name it, she was probably devouring it if she could find it. Two liberal arts degrees later, one wedding, going into business for herself as a freelance editor, then signing on as a contractor to do some medical editing, she's at a place where I'd like to publish some fiction for herself.