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57 Things You’ll Typically See When Playing League of Legends

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League of Legends is a juggernaut. It’s a powerhouse force in gaming so large that it’s player population is larger than most third world countries. If it had an elected government, it could essentially operate as an online nation. It would also make the U.S. congress look like a fun-filled hug-fest. LoL can be a pretty scary place sometimes, especially when the community consists of rational people and people who will RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK if you so much as fail to win your lane with flawless victory. So, what should you expect in a LoL game? Among other things:

  1.  The guy who immediately instalocks ADC, then proceeds to have all the wrong runes and masteries.
  2. The jungle who spends so much of their time back at spawn everyone on the team just assumes they fell asleep on their keyboard.
  3. THE REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC TEAMMATE!!

Joker Smile

  1. Someone trying a new champion out for the first time in solo ranked ladders.
  2. A team composed entirely of people with awesome skins whose  collective competency level is inversely awesome.
  3. The guy who swears AP/AD Master Yi is still a thing.

wnod

  1. People banning Jax, because he makes everyone sad.
  2. The fear in the eyes of the other team when they accidentally feed Fiddlesticks, Blitzcrank or Fizz.
  3. The asshole who hasn’t played since before season 3 and is unaware of the changes to wards.
  4. People who get irrationally angry, no matter if you’re in ARAM, Dominion or just normal 5v5 Summoner’s Rift.
  5. People queue dodging just to troll the queue. I assume they’re all, collectively, under 100 IQ.
  6. Someone with AP runes on a pure AD champion.
  7. Champions fed harder than Cho’gath at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.
  8. The Nice-But-Incompetent teammate.
  9. The teammate who may as well speak only in four-letter expletives.

drtg

  1. Incredibly strange ARAM rolls. A team of 5 ADCs is the worst thing in the world for everyone involved.
  2. The early-game jungle invade that ends in disaster. Much like D-Day, storming those beaches ends in a lot of bloodshed.
  3. The late game back door, because someone wasn’t watching their lane.
  4. The guy who thinks team fights mean “hang out halfway across the map and farm creeps.”
  5. Irrational Teemo hate.
  6. That teammate that only ever plays one champion.

Good work, one trick pony.

  1. Supports that think kill stealing and minion farming are actually part of their role.
  2. A jungle leash that goes horribly wrong.
  3. “Report x on my team because I don’t like them or their build.”
  4. An arranged team that rolls their opponent like Gragas rolls barrels.

Shut up!

  1. “God, could they please just nerf Twitch already?”
  2. “Summoner has disconnected” … “summoner has reconnected.”
  3. People throwing around the alphabet soup of acronyms that is LoL-jargon. Players outside ranked will miss the point 90% of the time.
  4. “My MMR is X. We’ve got this game in the bag.” Goes 1/9/1.
  5. The unbridled power of an AP champion getting their full build. Nothing makes the other team wet their pants like Veigar cracking 700 AP.
  6. “Shit, I don’t have masteries for them.”

What Would You Say

  1. The competent jungler that makes you ward like you’ve suddenly developed a serious case of paranoia.
  2. Your competent jungler making the other team hide in their base.
  3. Super-minions tanking an opposing team’s tank. It’s a  beautiful thing.
  4. The boyfriend-girlfriend pair. Just let them have bottom lane together and hope they synergize well.

wgbng

  1. Someone trying out a new build. Pray they actually put it together with some thought, otherwise you’ll be essentially man down with your support Master Yi or AD Veigar causing you to mash your face into a keyboard.
  2. The rare, but terrifying, competent Yorick player. Those ghouls are scary when built right, even if his ult is kind of lame.
  3. Ashe as a terrifying ADC with solid team sight support. All day err’day.
  4. The guy who got lost and wandered into a dominion game.
  5. The small cabal of players who prefer 3v3 over 5v5. You thought the rift snowballed hard with a bad team member?
  6. The ARAM community being so much nicer in general than the ranked community.
  7. Trolls. Thankfully, you don’t make it out of bronze as a troll.

Flame Troll

  1. The player with the amazing ELO carrying an entire team by 30 kills in an unranked game.
  2. Around April Fools, the people that didn’t get the joke behind URF.
  3. People who actually work together and make something happen in a random team pairing. Much like real life, you might have to go through a lot of dicks first to find people who really work well together.
  4. The player with way too much disposable income buying every new skin and champion.

  1. The player who enters ranked with literally the minimum champion count and gets confused when people get angry at them.
  2. “I don’t do support” guy.
  3. “I don’t do support” guy’s sidekick, “terribly thought-out mid champion” man.
  4. The teammate that plays like they’re drunk, but isn’t.
  5. The teammate the is drunk, but plays like a pro when they are.

I Have Doubts

  1. The bro secretly playing LoL before leaving for a party on a Friday night.
  2. The girl who only picks cute champions.
  3. The guy whose champion selection is as dark as his soul and matching goth make-up.
  4. Teams that are so good you could swear they’re cheating.

Trial by Combat

  1. Teams that are so bad you wish they were cheating.
  2. “Stop KSing me!” from a 3/5/0 jungler.

At the end of the day, LoL is a lot of fun, even in its worst moments. Get out there and keep kicking ass, it’s the only way to work your way to the top.

 

About Whiskey Ginger

Whiskey Ginger is a scientist by day and comedy writer by night. Other than his passions for the nerdier things in life, he also writes for comedy sites dedicated to fraternity and postgrad humor. His parents just wish he'd write less dick jokes.

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