Thinking Thursday: Gaming Culture Part 2 - Women As Gamers

By: Stephen Crane (Photo: 1000notes.com)

Last week I began this multi-part thought process on gaming culture with a little bit about how women are portrayed in our medium. Today I will be continuing the thought process as I talk about women's roles in the gaming community. Are things really that bad for women? Once again, I will only be showing that there is a problem and saving theories on why it is a problem for a later post in this series.

Women as Gamers

Unfortunately, in many regards women must "prove themselves" in the gaming community. If a man sucks it's because he isn't good at a particular game or only just started playing. If a woman has a bad game it's because she is a woman and therefore inferior. If a woman is a good player it's because she is compensating for some physical or character flaw.

Even if a girl does gain respect as a gamer, it's always in the context of being a "girl gamer" instead of being a "gamer". That's just wrong. "Girl" should not be a qualifier. Women should not be viewed through separate lenses than men.

If women aren't treated poorly, they are idealized. It's dehumanizing in the sense that they are no longer people: They are ideals and they are different or separate from the culture at large. The notion that female gamers should be placed on a pedestal or lauded as some sort of unicorn-like rare species  transforms them from people into archetypes... into ideals they can never realistically become.

If they don't have the body of Lisa Foiles or fit a particular image, girl gamers are all too often rejected or ostracized. Let's take a look at a bit of evidence (Links may be NSFW) of the "sexy gamer girl" fetishization, shall we? And really, who licks a controller? I mean -after- the Dorito cheese has been cleaned off, of course.

These misogynistic and idyllic depictions of women in the gaming world reinforce a "you must be this attractive to play" atmosphere, which we should rise above. Doctor Nerdlove has an interesting article on the fact that these "geek girl" fetish types don't actually exist and how as a community that notion needs to be abandoned. Even if I don't enjoy his condescending tone, I agree with the overall message.

That's not to say women don't occasionally feed into this idolization. Sites such as Suicide Girls or Cosplay Deviant have in their own way created the "Alternative Girl"/"Gamer Girl" ideal that has helped perpetuate the notion.

In the process of writing this article, I asked many women how they felt about their acceptance in the gaming community. Overwhelmingly they responded that in the community at large they didn't feel accepted.

A great example worth reading is a personal account by DMG|BurnYourBra. It's about her experiences as a female gamer in the fighting game community and how the trash talking evolves into something horrible. She states,

"I never once said that "I was the best female USA player," but it's been somewhat pushed on me [...] I've been challenged by many female players, [...] The title means nothing to me. But I guess the bright side of it is that it has brought out more females to start playing as well as to get better."

She also says, "When it comes to terms of females, it feels to me like there's almost a written rule that if you aren't Asian, and if you don't have the look that fits into this beauty hierarchy, then you're just not good."

It's quite obviously more than competitive banter, and it's what female gamers have to deal with all the time. If you look at the following behind many of the professional e-sports, any time a woman joins a team there are cries of "they just want a girl to look good for sponsorship photos".

Whether it's true or not, I don't know. The issue, is that it means women, even behind the screen, will always be judged based on their gender's archaic stereotype. In electronic worlds of avatars and relative anonymity, gender lines and barriers still exist, and that's wrong.

Websites such as Fat, Ugly or Slutty or Not in the Kitchen Anymore have become places for female gamers to post some of their unsavory experiences with other gamers, generally of the opposite sex. there are some foul, horrible people written about on those sites. If you are a part of this, please stop.

I had the opportunity to speak with a competitive Left 4 Dead 2 player who wishes to remain anonymous. She related to me a sad story of how, even in what she describes as a "somewhat small community," women are "not taken seriously[...] or they are sexualized and mocked to the extreme."

She related the story of one female player who sent racy pictures of herself to a male player only to have them sent out to the rest of the community, effectively forcing her out. "The rationale that I've heard from several people is that "she's a bitch, so it's not a big deal."[...] Very rarely do I see mention of her value as a player, of even a person -- just discussion of her pictures."

On top of that, women are all too often treated to lines like, "Go back to the kitchen slut," "Can I hav a pic of u in ur panties and bra," and "Jenny- ready to suck some cock?" No one deserves to be treated as these women are treated. Ever.

 

 

 

Despite the unfortunate atmosphere for women gamers, many remain hopeful for the future. When asked if they thought attitudes towards women were improving, almost all responded with an affirmative. Even though things may seem bad, many feel it's just an incredibly vocal minority that is getting all the attention and making things worse for the community at large.

How much of this offensive treatment is rooted in actual prejudice? Does anonymity bring out the latent sexism and homophobia in some gamers, or is there perhaps something deeper to the greater dickwad theory?

Next week I will seek to answer these questions and explore the mentality of these "internet dickwads." Do you have thoughts or comments about these discussions? Feel free to share either in the comments or send me an email at stephen@thearmedgamer.com if you have your own perspective you would like to share.

A special shout-out goes to the lovely gamers at the GirlGamers subreddit for being so friendly and open to discuss my questions!

Gaming Culture Part 3

Gaming Culture Part 4

Gaming Culture Part 5

 

Comments

[Elizabeth]

I get booted from wrestling games all the time just because im a girl and I've been playing thoese games for years and I'm not a bad player :(

[Jonny]

btw it's Idolised (or idolized if you're American) not Idealised (Idealized). My sister games and I don't really treat her with any kind of stereotyping there are games she's probably even better at than me. Though I'm not sure I agree entirely with the whole thing about if a girl is bad at a game it's 'cause she's a woman, to me, it's more about hours played than gender, we men have just been playing games for a lot longer. You've always had the occasional female gamer in the past, but it's only been with the rise of popularity in online gaming (such as WoW and XBL) that women have started to get more into gaming. So in the long run, to me it's more about the fact that men have had a like... 30 year-ish head start at gaming.

[Jacy]

I have never once made fun of women seroiusly(I kid with my friend bashing the a-hole men who actually are jerks to women via xbox live). I must say this is a really well written article, and thank you armed gamer for taking time to recognise all these moronic "status quo" things people think about the legendary "girl gamers".

[Braedyn (Merauder777)]

I'd just like to say in defense for us male gamers that I enjoy the few girl gamers online because theyare usually not only great gamers but are a lot of fun. And I know that there are stupid guys online but me and almost all of my friends enjoy are very fair about who's playing. Sorry if we ever made you feel that way.

[Armed Gamer]

Idealized: V. Regard or represent as perfect or better than in reality: "Idealized accounts of their life together". It's valid.

[Brittany Canon]

I can honestly say I've never personally taken flack for being a gamer... most guys are like ok so you game like its no big deal or they think its badass. On that same note though, I have heard guys tell girls their job is to get in the kitchen and make them a sammich. So yeah I understand there are some guys who make a big deal out of it, that girls can't do it because its a guy thing or if they do play they only play easy games(I don't know the equivalent now but in 99 it was crash bandicoot) I have won a few competitions in arcade games like racing and fighting and I usually wasn't the only girl there so I know there have always been girl gamers, but for some reason until recently they never let guys know they liked to play for fear of looking uncool and guys wouldn't date them... well the girls I know thats how they explained it to me

[RevRabid]

I duuno... I've heard WAY more racially based (The N-bomb is a popular one), or gay-bashing comments ("Fag" is practically synonymous with "Good job killing me")online than anti-female comments. But I suppose that's not going to ever change, so why bother addressing it?

I look at it like this: Years ago, a few ladies tried to enter an all-male training academy. They were informed that it was extremely difficult, and a high percentage of male cadets drop out. They pressed on, and within weeks they had all quit... But instead of simply admitting it was too difficult, they pulled the sexism card. They claimed they were "humiliated" by being forced to stand outside in their underwear, in the cold, and sprayed with water in front of the male cadets. Sounds terrible right? Well, it turns out that type of hazing is normal, and had been going on for over 100 years... These ladies wanted preferential treatment, and cried foul when they didn't get it.

Gaming is the same:Thicken up your skin, or don't play on an open channel... trash talk is part of the experience.

[Thevideogamecat]

Brittany, your perspective is interesting to me because most guys I've dated were always interested in the fact that I gamed (and most of the time I had been gaming longer, had more systems, played more games than they had)... so I find it hard to understand why a girl would be scared to tell guys about her experience. Maybe they would have felt too much competition?

The overall problem I see is we should all just be gamers. Not girl gamers. Not lady gamers. Yet, so many people still think it's a male realm and that we are not part of the "in crowd" and are still on the periphery. I would like to see this change. That's my hope for the future.

[klol]

@Jonny I do believe he meant idealized.

[Merry]

That's weird. I am a girl, I don't have any problems with the way I look, I am not uber sexy or anything, but I find myself accepted as a "gamer". I think one of the only things I get flack for is being a girl, because guys assume I am feminist. If you simply ignore all the sexism it goes away, in fact, I find once you have a decent come back, and can take a joke most people like you even more. I don't want to be viewed under "the same lens" as guys, because, quite frankly, I am not a guy. Yes, I tend to suck a bit more at some things than guys do, and I am a bit better at things than some guys are. BIG DEAL. I thought we were supposed to be unique. Isn't that what everyone has been pushing for the last two decades? I can understand the whole women make less than men thing. But this is pushing it. If women are allowed to drool at sensitive buff guys who want to listen to women talk, then I think guys have earned the right to drool at something equally "unrealistic". Guys will be guys and girls will be girls. Can we just leave it at that and stop with the bullshit already? If anything it's forming a larger gap between these two genders.

[Richard McKinney Jr.]

Most women are not accepted into the gaming community because most men play games to flaunt their ego or some such nonsense and show that they are the alpha male among men but when a women is involved it is not show off to her. Most of the time acceptance comes down to the game, take a game like Team Fortress 2 for example. I play it and i play with a girl and a lot of the time it turns into a fight over her attention which we just laugh at because i treat her as a gamer and so do a few others. Girls are idolized in these situations because most of the time men play these games to show off and flaunt their ego but in other games a women is more likely to be accepted. In a game like World of Warcraft or any equivalent MMORPG they are more accepted but usually get the same treatment when they play a major role because of the same reason the male is typically the worrier and the women is typically a mage/healer a fragile person but what most can't understand is that it is a role playing game and therefore both genders are equal in abilities and it should be the talent that is recognized. To me gender does not matter as long as you can get the job done correctly. I know women that play games like TF2 or WoW and are better then men that play those same games which is always hilarious because when a man loses to a man it is typically a let down but nothing too bad but when a man loses to a women any man that feels worse then had he been beaten by a man is the ego-maniacal pigs that usually follow up with some sort of kitchen/sandwich comment to try to redeem himself in front of his peers. What we need to do is stop judging on gender or any characteristic except talent. The same goes the other way though when you get the "showboaty" gamer girls that do nothing but brag because they play a game like halo or call of duty. The men and women that feel they are superior due to gender are just ego maniacs and should be left in a room to complain at each other so the gamers who can judge based on talent can have fun and not have to deal with stupid sexism in a game.

[IamSkr1ll3x]

@klol No. What was pushed to is equality NOT to be unique. I mean seriously? You are one of the people who wants that pedestal as a crutch and if it is gonna be that way, just don't play.

[Helloxgato]

Iv personaly havent run into jerks online. Yet. Just a few perves that joke around but I can take a joke so I dont take it personal.

[Dustin Jones]

lol, these are just lunacy, i play games for at least 5 to 6 hours a day, and i never hear anyone of the female form go through any of these situations, when I and any other randoms i play with on teams get partied with a chick gamer, the usual convo follows; "got a mic? good, use it." it's the articles such as this that keep stupidity like this in people's heads, the only time i've ever heard a female get harassed online is by young boys like 13 and younger, and if you let yourself be dignified by something like that, you have a long horrible gaming career ahead of you, there is a mute button on all chat interfaces for a reason, use it, the guys do all the time.

[Zack]

I feel like its a non-issue, and attacking the issue just makes it more prevalent and forward in our minds. Whereas, the "Male Gaze" of our society, to use Mary Devereaux's term, will simply dissolve as the generations progress into more conscious thinkers. There will always be a man who either esteems or devalues a woman. Just like there will always be a racist, or a homophobe. Not to say that the gaming women as well as the non-gaming women aren't proponents of the problem. Its their fault for continually setting themselves apart. Its like running out in the middle of stampeding herd of bulls waving a flag and then getting upset when you get run over. And otherwise, different people gain and lose who they are from hardships and offense. Being uncomfortable makes people think. So although it may seem that the perfect world is a world where we all simply love each other and don't even consider our differences. We are who we are because of the differences we have with everyone else around us. There would be no standard for what is and what should be done if everything was universalized; the "shadow proves the sunshine" so to speak. You can't just look at the raging river rushing past, you also have to look at the gloriously whet and shined stones underneath because of it.

[kristine]

Have I experienced direct discrimination in games? No. Then again, I don't mention my gender or my real name, I don't refer to my boyfriend as such even when we're playing together, and even my female characters usually don't have obviously female names.

But the indirectly sexist stuff I see sometimes makes me sick. Crude or objectifying in-game banter about women real and fictional. Gendered slurs (and yes, also homophobic and racist ones). Rape jokes. I haven't gotten much flak for speaking against it, but I'm afraid to protest too strongly because I don't want to be outed. And when I complain in arenas where my gender is known, my opinions are often dismissed on the grounds that I'm just being sensitive or overemotional or weak or, worst of all, feminist. The discussion tends to pointlessly fixate on my supposed sexuality or frigidness, and my complaints are marginalized.

None of this goes away when I ignore it. I can choose to make myself not a target, by denying my gender and keeping my mouth shut, and then I see less of it, but it doesn't stop. And I feel crummy anyway, knowing I let someone scare me into hiding and into silence.

[Jeremiah]

You know if this wasn't a extreme radical and almost completely ignorant artical I would have much to say. The only problem that I ever encountered with female gamers is trying to seperate their voices from a young lad's voice. Any other issues with females I may game with are catagorized as generally, because females are females no matter what the piss they do.

[Cloud Kay]

I think A large reason women aren't looked upon with as much respect as others in gaming is based upon the gamers previous experience with said gender. Most of the gamers who disrespect women are the people in real life who disrespect women, Why you think they would change there persona online is a tad silly, I feel like its not that everyone girls meet online is being an asshole to them, its just they are being exposed to many more different people. And in a game you are Forced to work with them. Think of it like in high school. I hope I am not the only one here that didn't get alone with everyone, or have everyone's respect. The same applies to games. Having the general go to the kitchen jokes can be annoying but if you really think about it, every single race or gender will have some joke that is aimed at them, Weither its blacks, Asians, Mexicans, or women. I feel that women are just taking it the hardest, but this is also making them try to change it. This will take a long time, Gaming is still sort of new, gaming with online multiplayer is even newer. I can almost promise that every guy gamer has also been called a fag, yelled at for being terriable, called a little kid that doesn't know what hes doing, booted and tea bagged at some point in his online gaming career. Its just what happens, for the women that get treated badly you need to understand its not just you its everyone. Its just aimed at whoever the alpha-loser decides. I am not making light of what you go through I am just saying that the current I guess its a "meme" that is going around is girls being in the kitchen. Same as the stereotype is black people love water melon and fried chicken. But the one way I feel like women would be more accepted into the professional side of gaming would be to win a major MLG event. (major league Gaming for those who don't know) This would give more women a stepping stone and more confidence seeing another girl being able to beat out ALL the guys. But even still, after that, girls that would get the confidence from that would be in the wrong. They would think, well if a girl can beat all the boys I can too, which then belittles the girls still, except its now a girl thinking she is better then another girl. Over all I feel winning a major MLG event and really getting out there to guys "HEY WE ARE HERE TO STAY AND PLAY" is better then only ever hearing them complain about it on a forum or online. because we all have dealt with the whine kid who tries to be the leader and thinks he knows what hes doing, he ends up not liked. I feel like if you just pick up your guns or swords or whatever you are going to win the game with then just solider up and fight though everyone and prove to people you are good to get respect the way everyone else has. the jokes are harsh but they are harsh to everyone.

[Emerson]

This article isn't ignorant Jeremiah...
-_-
I've seen this stuff happen way too often in online COMPETITIVE games. Gerenally, it's some nimrod (which will always be there >_<) who sucks at the game, is a sore loser, and, let's face it, they probably never have - or will - get laid. Competitive games I believe will always be like this to some extent though because it brings out humans' competitive nature and blah blah blah. However, non-competitive games like in the MMORPG community this is close to completely non-existent. If you're good (ACTUALLY good) then you get praised - if you suck you get booted and/or trash talked. Short and simple. No if's, and's, or but's except for when its one of the people who are just jerks anyways. I spend way too much time playing games so if you question why I know this..... don't make me tell you how much time I have logged on xbox live lmao

[Lentils45]

I've been playing first person shooters since I was about 12 and still haven't heard the end of it. I can understand that sometimes it is just a harmless joke, but I have heard many "harmless" sexist jokes, almost nonstop ever since I've been playing online games, especially if I use my voice. This one game I play, I've been playing 4 years and decided to revisit it recently. I started playing, talked on the mic and got this new crappy player saying "THERE ARE GIRLS ON THE INTERWEBS?" It's like, dude, stfu. Who cares. Play the game! I have heard that probably a billion times. I have to use the microphone if I want my team to win, so how can I just conceal your identity all the time? I have six or seven actual online friends from that game who aren't idiots, but the rest of them, well, they're mostly idiots. And it's just not the greatest thing. Sure, people are called fags all the time in games, which is awful, but that's something that is not directed at a person who they know is gay. That's a word that is sadly, being used as a word such as dumbass, or asshole, which can be related to anyone who sucks at the game. However, if they know you're a girl, then of course they're going to say sexist stuff to your face. That's just how it is. If you are any other identity though, no one can really call you out during an online game. Even though people get a lot of crap whether or not they're a girl playing online games, if you're a girl, you really do get a lot of crap. I don't know if this article helps at all, but I'm just stating my opinion. It seems like any decent gamer who is of the female gender will never be accepted into a game where new people are constantly joining and the community is growing because there will always be stupid people.

[Jill Mitchell]

I get hate for being a girl. While my voice isn't overly female, it is different from the guys who I play with. When I play with my friends, we talk about the game, strategies and whatnot. If you go to my profile it says I am a girl. I don't try to make a big deal about it, but it is who I am. I have been called a bitch, a c***, fat, slut, or other names. I have been told to get back in the kitchen, to make a sandwich, to go suck a d***. And commenting on this is difficult for me, because the last article I commented on about girl gamers, someone found me on facebook and personally messaged me, telling me I was stupid. There have been 2. That's right, 2, random people I have met on Xbox that have respected me as a gamer. This is not including my friends, who have been nothing but kind to me. But for the most part, my experience with gamers online has been nothing but negative. I really do enjoy this article though, it was very good.

[Natasha]

At the end of the day, I'm there to play. If someone tells me to get back into the kitchen, so what. If they demand a sammich, again so what. I thought the whole point of gaming was to ENJOY the game and not let other twats ruin it. I've had my fair share of taunts and god knows what else, but I just ignore it. I'm there to play, not make friends [or enemies]. I see female gamers as other gamers. Everyone just falls into one category for me and that's just 'gamers', whether they're female or male. And I have even come across a few females that have taunted other females for not doing so well on say, MW3 for example. It's ridiculous! Games are there to be enjoyed, if you don't like what you hear, just mute them. Don't like the messages they send you? Report them. It's very satisfying knowing that you've gone ahead and reported someone and to think that you're probably not the first person to do it either.

[Patches]

I like to think of myself as a... "Comedic bigot" i only make race or sexist jokes with people who are perceived to be capable to take said joke. However i've never bashed anyone for their race or sex or even sexual preferance. jokes? yes. Bashing? No. their is a difference problem is most people don't know where the line is.

[A Facebook User]

I don't understand why some douchebags would treat female gamers like this, I would love it if girls took one of my favorite pastimes seriously.

[Lizjasko.wordpress.com]

Usually I can't stand articles still discussing this topic. However, it was so refreshing to read this quote:

"Even if a girl does gain respect as a gamer, it's always in the context of being a "girl gamer" instead of being a "gamer". That's just wrong. "Girl" should not be a qualifier. Women should not be viewed through separate lenses than men."

This is why "girl gaming" organizations personally bother me...I don't want to group up with other females who play games as a strong "girl gamer" force--secluded and distinguished from just "gamer." And it's THE WORST at the competitive level, where it matters most.

I wrote about this topic for a school paper last year...Pages 5-9 especially may interest you if you're interested in hearing more about this female perspective, armed gamer. http://lizjasko.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/the-place-of-the-female-gamer.pdf